Yesterday I had a small panic attack when I saw that pretty much everyone on my Instagram and Facebook feeds had posted their resolutions, words of the year, blog posts, or new signs/merchandise.  I was no where near ready to post any of that.  I was still in rest and recovery mode.  We had a GREAT Christmas break and I did zero painting and zero worrying. It was awesome! One of my best friends got married on the 2nd and I was the MOH and we had the best time celebrating her and her new husband all weekend.  So that brought me to yesterday, when I just didn’t have it all the way together yet.  I wasn’t ready for the grand entry back into real life.  Piles of laundry were everywhere and there was no food in the house.  I had no inspiring words to write or quotes to paint, and I immediately starting beating myself up about it.  I rarely let myself off the hook when it comes to resting or taking a break.  If I watch tv or read a book during nap time I feel guilty about it all day.  Like there were so many other things I should have been  doing and how dare I sit down.  I know I’ve talked about this in past posts but it’s been a problem lately.  Especially with how busy I was with sign orders before and during the holidays.  I didn’t allow myself to rest for a second.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being busy painting, but it’s ok to not paint while Rowan sleeps sometimes! So with all that being said, I saw a post yesterday on my Instagram that was actually the opposite of the ones I was talking about previously and it was so encouraging to me!!

“With all the words of the year, vision boards, and goals filling our feeds, we wanted to remind you of some truth today: GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME! Today is the first Monday of the new year and if you don’t do anything to meet the goals you wrote out, or if the day doesn’t reflect the carefully- picked photos found on your vision board, give yourself a little GRACE.  Because at the end of the day, grace is what we all need more than anything.” -The Wild Revival

(This came from Amanda and Marrissa, the girls behind The Wild Revival blog.  You need to check them out! http://www.thewildrevival.com  They are West Virginia ladies like myself who are doing great things for the kingdom by connecting women through events and their blog and are creating an awesome community in our area!)

That quote was exactly what I needed to hear. This year I want to give myself GRACE.  During these past few years of marriage, residency, motherhood, teaching, creating, budgeting, eating, pregnancy, and on and on, I have given myself little to no grace.  I stress and worry and feel like I’m holding my breath probably about 80% of the time.  And I know, 100% of the time, that’s not what Christ wants for us.  When I do that, I tell Him that I don’t trust Him, rely on Him, or believe He’s in control.  He gives me the undeserving gift of grace and I need to open my arms and accept it. Josh always tells me that no one is demanding I be perfect or putting pressure on me. I do it to myself. WHYYYY?!?!  This need for perfection and control is a habit that needs to be kicked.

This year while I’m working on giving myself grace, I do have a few goals as well.  (I can’t help it! I’m a planner, producer, and thrive on productivity!)  I want to be more consistent at pouring my heart into this little blog space.  I have SO. MANY. FEELINGS. As I think I’ve mentioned before haha! and I want to share them with you.  I want to keep dreaming BIG and stop listening to Satan who tells me that if I don’t accomplish all my dreams and goals this. instant. then I might as well not try at all. BECAUSE… GOOD THINGS TAKE TIME! And sometimes “my time” is not the “right time.” Which I’ve learned the lesson of many times in the past! (You’ve realized I’m a type A+++ already right?!?) I want to keep creating for you and for myself, fiercely love my husband and baby boy, be a good steward of our money and my time, and work really hard to love the home I have over the next 18 months before we move onto our next phase of life.  But most of all, I want to do those things while giving myself GRACE.  Small baby steps towards BIG, giant, God given dreams.

2016 will be a year of GRACE (and progress) not perfection.

~Dana