How’s that for some alliteration?!?

The past week has been BUSY! I have all these things swirling around in my head that I want to write about but when nap time rolls around there are always so many other things that end up needing done before I can sit down at the computer.  In the past 10 days I successfully launched my business with It Works! Global and have hit the ground running, I buried myself up to my neck in planning Rowan’s first birthday party (of which I said would be simple and low key… yeah right!), traveled to Pittsburgh twice (for 5 out of the 10 days), dedicated Rowan at WVC, and celebrated 3 birthdays, Father’s Day, and our 3 year anniversary!  I’m sure there’s more but I’m too exhausted to think about it.

I’m pretty good with handling a busy schedule and Rowan is such an amazing on-the-go, travel buddy but sometimes we just like to take a deep breath and be at home.  The thing is, I thrive on a schedule. Whether it’s a busy day or a stay at home day, I always have a schedule for us.  Rowan now also thrives on a schedule but we are still working on Josh! Ha!  Sometimes I get a little too anal, OCD, or whatever you want to call it, with how and when things are to be done.  Josh’s influence has helped me greatly in this area… it’s part of what he calls me becoming a “transformed woman” …and that will get a little more explanation below, and maybe it’s own blog post some day. Ha! When my every-minute-scheduled habits take over, it turns into me being uber particular about things and my perfectionistic qualities rear their ugly heads.

I have always dealt with being a perfectionist and, unfortunately in the past, when I didn’t reach the expectations I had set for myself, I automatically hopped on the negative self-talk train and would remind myself of all the reasons why I shouldn’t and couldn’t do this and that.  This was the case with grades, sports, relationships, teaching, and pretty much everything.  Actually, most times, I would meet the expectations I had set because I wouldn’t allow myself not to.  This approach led to A LOT of unnecessary stress and anxiety.  It led to Satan being in control of my thoughts and actions.  He knew the best way to take control of my life and he wouldn’t give up.  This was a constant battle.

When Josh and I got married and moved to Morgantown I carried these habits here with me…. they were at their peak because I had just thrown a wedding that I was sure everyone hated attending (satan), went on a honeymoon that I did a horrible job choosing because it rained the whole time (satan), moved away and no one from home would ever make an attempt to talk to me again (satan), would never find a new job or new friends (satan), and so on and so forth.  My mind would always have 3,989,473 tabs open like this. Crazytown.

Slowly, over the past several years, I have finally let God take control of my thoughts on my worth and the idea that I have to be perfect to be loved, successful, or happy.  The “new” me is what Josh calls me being a “transformed woman” and he takes all the credit. But I think he knows he definitely needed God’s help to accomplish the insurmountable task of changing what’s going on in this head of mine haha! It’s still a lot of work for me to slow down and not allow anxiety to take over.  Those of you who know me now and didn’t know me back then are probably thinking “What the heck?!? It was worse??” But this is me making progress.

As I was starting this journey with It Works! I knew I needed to pray that I would not allow satan to take this business that God so graciously and divinely appointed to my life, and make it a way for him to weasel back in to my thoughts.  Boy was satan already on his game though.  In the past two weeks, as I’ve been getting the business up and running, I’ve had all kinds of fights with him, God, and myself.  Things like “God why would you give this to me? Why would I want to try this? You know I’m not good at selling things, talking to people, being healthy, learning, teaching, and so on and so on… over and over…” There have been a few moments when I’ve already wanted to give up because of the negative thoughts.  When thoughts like these come flooding in, they stop me from making progress on anything. Not just the business. They take a toll on my parenting, my marriage, my relationships, and my productivity in general.  When I believe the lies, I become paralyzed in every aspect of my life.

The thing is, I know that I have potential.  I know who I am in the eyes of Christ.  I know that I have a passion for injustices and what people used to call a “save the world” mentality. I know that there were desires and passions placed in my heart for a reason- even when I try to bury them because I deem them too BIG. I know they are there. I know that I’m wired the way I am for a reason.  When my type A, anxious, personality is tended to and has correct delivery, great things can (and will) happen.

With all of that said, the message is this. God uses imperfect people to get His will done. He equips the called, not the other way around. A translation of Eccesiastes 11:4 says if you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done. Amen! You have to trust God, get started, and move forward despite your fears and doubts.  In my case this time, fears of not having a perfect, profitable business right from the start.  God calls us to NOT live just a mediocre life. When being a perfectionist paralyzes me, my life becomes mediocre at best.  But because He loves me I can rest in promises like this one from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I can be weak, because He makes me strong. I can be imperfect, because He is perfect. I can let my guard down, because He guards my heart.  I can win the battle again my fears and anxiety because He is fighting the battle for me.

xoxo, Dana

More scripture…

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial.

Galations 6:9 Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Luke 18:1 You must always pray and never lose heart.

Welcome everyone!

Here I am again, finding myself in the world of blogging! Only this time I feel much more ready, relaxed, and refocused.  This time I have a lot to say, so much so that I don’t know where to start.  God has placed so many things on my heart that I desperately want to share with you! When you get here you may not find eloquent writing or perfect editing, but you will find out what’s on my heart and what it’s like in real life with me.  I’m sorry in advance! Josh should warn you… although he may love this because once I pour out my heart in a million unorganized words on here, I may not have as much to say to him haha! And let’s be real- most of what I think I need to talk to him about, comes to me as soon as he lays his head down on the pillow at night. #thestruggleisreal.  I go through manyyyyy emotions in a day- too many- (can I get an AMEN from all the ladies ha!) and as I have been praying over this blog, my hope is that my emotions and dealings with conquering my fears, striving to love others the way God intended us to, and learning to surrender my will to him daily, will make an impact on your life and bring God glory. Wait, can God use crazy to bring Him glory?? I sure hope so!

After much consideration, I decided to go with “My Steadfast Soul” as the title of my blog for a number of reasons.  The main reason being that the word “steadfast” has been “my word” ever since we moved to West Virginia three years ago.  When we got here there was a lot going on with me emotionally, and at work, and just in life in general with so many changes happening so quickly, and as I turned to scripture, the word steadfast kept appearing over and over again.  I used to write it long ways on my middle finger everyday at work. Somehow that small reminder to be steadfast got me through a lot… and reminded me that God would not want me to stick that finger up by itself. And you think I’m kidding haha! So now fast forward three years and we have made the decision for me to put teaching in the classroom aside for a little while and stay home with my sweet boy, Rowan. Even in this season of life, the word steadfast remains my anthem although it has taken on different meaning. A few definitions of steadfast are: firm in purpose, resolution, faith, attachment, unwavering faith and adherence.

Where I’m at now in life, to me it means to be unwavering in my faith, to adhere to God’s plan for my life, to find purpose and stand firm in what He calls me to do, and to be in constant prayer for all my people (I’ve been trying to pray for all of you!) All hard stuff to abide by on a daily basis. FOR REAL. But His grace is sufficient and He knows my heart. He also knows that I’m an over-thinker, a worrier, and a control freak. I really struggle with quieting down my mind so that I can hear Him speaking to me and know it’s Him.  He’d need a megaphone to talk over all the crazy ha! For the past few months, I have been praying hard, reading my Bible, going through tons of devotions and books, journaling like crazy, writing my prayers out and just really trying to feel God speak to me and I just kept wondering why I didn’t hear Him and feel his presence. Then about three weeks ago it all started to go down… (that sounds bad but it’s been AMAZING!)

I finished the book Undaunted by Christine Caine and by the end of it my heart was completely broken apart over the injustice of human and sex trafficking. Check out the A21 Campaign if you’d like to know more but I’ll cover more on this topic in another post or you’ll be here all day.  But after reading this book I would find myself crying at random times over the issue (remember the emotions I mentioned??) God laid it so heavily on my heart.  But what do I do about it, where do I start? I have no money, I’m one person, I don’t have resources.  Then I moved on to the book Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker. Broke me all over again.  You need to read these books.  Life changing.  The tagline on Jen’s book even says, “When Jesus Wrecks Comfortable Christianity” and that’s no joke.  So I’m praying hardddd… What can I do? Lord give me resources, give me guidance, give us stability financially so I can give generously and help people out of these injustices…

All of this brings me to last week when God showed up BIG time and has been revealing Himself to me over and over again in so many ways.  I’m going to shorten this story bc this blog post is beginning to have the potential to win an award for the. longest. EVER. I’m sorry. BUT SO MANY WORDS AND EMOTIONS. Please stay with me to hear how awesome God is!

So last week I was presented with an opportunity to go into direct sales with a company.  But something just didn’t feel right in my heart and gut so I made a few phone calls to people I trust and respect for advice.  When I call Kate she tells me about this company It Works! Global and recommends that I check it out just to do some research on other direct sales companies.  I call this woman that Kate directs me to, Beth, and she proceeds to tell me all of the amazing things about this Christian company that are changing so many lives. We talk about products, opportunities, money, etc (all of which are amazing and all natural and she basically had already sold me) but then she goes “Oh yeah I wanted to mention that we also do mission trips and one of the organizations that we created is called Selah Freedom and its mission is to abolish sex trafficking and exploitation and other injustices.  SAY WHAAAAAA?!?!? I just started crying over the phone.  It only took 15 mins for this woman to know I’m crazy town. Something so little that she added was something SO BIG to me.  That’s because our God is SO BIG and SO GOOD.  I am the last person on the planet that ever thought I’d go into direct sales and I had 174895743 reasons why I should not do it, but here I am now, an It Works! Distributor! I started this journey with It Works a week ago and God has showed up and revealed that He is in this 100% everyday.  I know this is Him because I wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t.  A sweet friend we have, Carol, said to me, sometimes you have to have faith and trust Him enough to get out of the boat, and step out onto the water, for He will hold you up. THEN the next day, my devotions by Rick Warren said the same thing, literally word for word.  I CANNOT and would not make this up.  I’m in awe and I’m trying to grasp what He’s doing and I can’t wait to see what He’s going to do. I’m also scared out of my mind but that is masked with excitement haha!

It’s been a whirlwind of a week but I love people and I love these products and this company and it’s so awesome seeing how they are both changing lives. I want to change lives.  So that’s how I ended up here.  I had been wrestling with the idea of this blog and the way God has been working confirmed for me that it would be unfair of me to not share how He works in my life.

I just want to invite you all on this journey with me.  God has a plan and purpose and has shown great provision in my life- provision that only He can provide.  If you feel like there is something on your heart that requires you to step out onto the water in faith- DO IT! If it is not in His will, He will lead you back.  There will be days when you are unsure… in my case (more like nutcase!) it can change by the moment.  But He will reveal Himself.  His promises are greater than your problem, no matter how big the problem may seem. Be persistent in prayer because the antidote to fear is being in God’s presence.

Wow… I could really go on forever but I need to save things for other posts haha! I hope you stuck with me through all of that.  I’m going to leave you with some scripture that has been uplifting and encouraging to me lately.

xoxo, Dana

2 Timothy 2:13 Even when we are too weak to have any faith left, he remains faithful to us and will help us… and he will always carry out his promises to us.

John 15:7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Hebrews 4:16 Let us approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly, than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us.